ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
