Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
