garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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