i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
