I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
