wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
