Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
