if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
