my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
