I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
