absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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