you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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