Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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