i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
