I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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