i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
