problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
