He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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