called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
