i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
