one two three fourrrrnication!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
