Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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