we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
