we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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