You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
