Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
