SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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