no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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