3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
