i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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