Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize