if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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