Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
