I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
