I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
