You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
