smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
