if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
