shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
