i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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