i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
