The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
