Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
