I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
my liver is dry heaving
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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