there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
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