ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
