all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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