Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
