I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
