Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
