we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
