Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
