The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
