I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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